To Lead or Not To Lead

So, the Garden of Eden. What is it? We know of the things God created but here we have more details on how God made people and more about the Garden of Eden. We have this oasis God created, yet He noticed there was no one to tend the groundwork. So bada bing, bada boom and a breath of life later, Adam was created from the dust of the earth. Yes, we are made from dirt. He re-used those resources! The things He already created. One online commentary that I like to use simplifies the verse as well. “So this verse also means that God put man’s spirit into man’s body. Man is different from animals because he has a spirit. That is why man is like God.”

I’m still feeling a tad bit iffy about Adam because I know the way this story is ending so I’m going to refer to him as Adam the Acquaintance or double A (AA). Anyways, back in the garden we got Adam the Acquaintance on the scene and God is now allowing the vegetation in Eden to flourish and grow. We got the different rivers flowing through different places. We got trees pleasant on the eyes, whose fruits are good for food, and in the MIDDLE of it all we got the tree of life. There was also a tree that makes one able to distinguish good things and evil things. Then, we have verse 15-17:

 “The *Lord God took the man and he put him in the garden in Eden. He told him to farm the garden and to look after it. The *Lord God *commanded the man. He said, ‘Eat freely the fruit of all the other trees that are in the garden. But do not eat the fruit of the tree that makes you able to distinguish good things and evil things. If you eat that fruit, you will certainly die.’” Genesis 2:15-17

It’s almost  like telling a toddler “HEY! You can push any button in this area, just don’t press THIS button. Again… Adam the Acquaintance… you had ONE job but I’m a sinner too so again can’t point fingers. In fact, let me retract it. After the warning that was CLEARLY told to ADAM God says the following statement:

  “‘It is not good that man is alone. I will make a helper for him. His helper shall be suitable for him.’”

God used the word helper, not slave nor servant. A helper means a person who helps someone else.  God knew that Adam would need someone to help him, not serve him. In comes -as I like to call it the Garden of Eden auditions for Adam’s helper. God brought all the living animals to Adam for him to name and whatever name was given to the animal was their name. No do-overs, yet none of them was a helper suitable to Adam because he needed someone like him.

I can see how man came up with the name of animals given the range of simplicity to out the ordinary. To elaborate, you have names like Rattle-Snake (a snake that rattles its tail), then the switch up goes to a name like Hippopotamus (a large thick-skinned semi aquatic African mammal, with massive jaws and large tusks). I genuinely wonder if there was a thought process to picking these names or if he just WINGED it.

Moving on, God creates Eve from Adam who is in a deep sleep (this is the first surgery). God uses a bone from Adam to create Eve and presents her to Adam who breaks out into joyful poetry: 

 Verse 23: Then Adam said,

       ‘This at last is my bone

                   and it is part of my body.

       I shall call her “woman”

                   because she came out of man.’

This leads to an explanation of why a man leaves his father and mother to join his wife because they become one body. Adam and Eve were naked but they saw nothing wrong with it. Back to the marriage covenant, for a man to leave his father and mother refers to the wedding ceremony or time of public commitment. For the man and wife to be united suggests a tender affection and faithful commitment in a permanent relationship of growing love and to become one flesh is a physical union, which notes the deepest and most exclusive intimacy.  It’s no question that the marriage covenant between man and wife was designed by God himself. 

What are the components in headship though? What exactly are the roles in marriage between man and woman and do women have to submit entirely to their husbands? I’m pretty sure that I am not the only female who read the bible at some point of their lives, heard the word submit and got offended. I use to think that when the time came for me to be married my husband would run everything and I’d be a petty housewife, waiting on my husband. It didn’t make it better that the world paints the term “submit” as if it’s a curse from the ancient world. 

I’m going to need the ALL the feminist, high strung, independant women to silently lower their metaphoric weapons as I explain what God revealed to me on the roles between men and wife. It is only because I fully understand that I am able to explain it because I once got caught up in the “I don’t need no man taking care of me I can do everything by myself” mentality, and this is not to say women shouldn’t be independent. I stan independence but as I mentioned before the keyword is HELPER.

  1. What is Headship?: The responsibility to assume with humility and not a right to demand with pride. What does this mean? Great question. In a biblical headship, between man and woman (marriage covenant) the husband is assigned primary responsibility for christlike, servant leadership in the home. (LOWER THE SHARPENED PITCHFORKS and let me explain.) 

Think of it as a chain of command. You have God at the top, then man, then woman. I understand that there are broken households, I grew up in a broken home. However, if the dad is not in the picture then it goes to the next person in command. (If something happens to the president, you look to the Vice President who takes the President’s place. This does not mean that the Vice President holds no sort of power. Even when the President is present the Vice President holds that supplementary power over the things they run.) God, then woman but this doesn’t mean that someone should purposely go out their way to raise a child by themselves.  The ideal picture of marriage is between man and woman, who join as one, a team, in a God driven relationship. 

  1. What is the wife’s role?: Let’s continue, what is the wife’s role as the helper? Again, not servant, nor slave, a HELPER. The wife is expected to respond in honoring and affirming her husband’s leadership. To have a balance between leadership and servanthood. God is the perfect example for such leadership. He leads and serves, one doesn’t distort the other. SO, the headship should not merely prescribe “who does what” but should be a basis for moving forward the goals of a family. 

We know that women were formed from man, which means that women are linked to the man and correspond to the man perfectly with the same flesh and blood. As the helper to the man to woman becomes his partner spiritually in the overwhelming task of obedience to God and dominion over the earth, and are a vital part of extending the generations. They are the ultimate friend to the man who will bring them comfort and fellowship. In other words, NO ONE ELSE COULD ENCOURAGE AND INSPIRE HIM AS SHE WAS CREATED TO DO!

  1. What is the husband’s role?: Well let’s get one thing straight, the husband ain’t Christ and never will be. He shouldn’t be treated like a worshiped idol. The husband should be encouraging his wife and children to follow Christ and depend on Christ. He is to help lead his wife in a partnership that glorifies God. This means that in a loving headship, the husband must humble himself to meet the needs of his wife. This involves loving, nourishing, and cherishing as the treasure she is and not to mistreat her.

I’m only 23 years old, and I am not married. So, I can’t give any form of marriage advice. However, I can share some insight on how to look for a husband/wife based on the things I have learned. One thing that I am personally looking for is someone who I trust to lead not only me but our family. I feel like in the past I gave my attention to those that have steered me to destruction and I ignored it. If you’re unequally yoked with someone, don’t ignore the signs. If anything, act like Simba from The Lion King and run away as fast as you can. If he can’t lead you, he doesn’t need you. And for the guys, if she can’t assist you, she won’t miss you.

See y’all next time! Feel free to comment or dm me on social media if you want me to elaborate on anything.

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